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Getty ImagesIdeasBy Eric BarkerNovember 1, 2014 12:01 AM EDTBarker is the author of Barking Up The Wrong TreeFBI Hostage negotiators know how to listen and this is the secret to connecting with people.Wersquo;ve all been told we could be better listeners and that listening is important. B stanley water flask ut what does that really mean and how do we do it Letrsquo  round up the researchhellip;Why Itrsquo  ImportantNobody likes a conversational narcissist but wersquo;ve all been one:Conversational narcissists always seek to tu stanley cupe rn the attention of others to themselves. Your first reaction to this statement is likely, Oh, I donrsquo;t do that, but I know someone who does! But not so fast. Conversational narcissism typically does not manifest itself in obviously boorish plays for attention; most people give at least some deference to social norms and etiquette. Instead, it takes much more subtle forms, and wersquo;re all guilty of it from time to time. Everyone has felt that itch where we couldnrsquo;t wait for someone to stop talking so we could jump in; we pretended to be listening intently, but we were really focusing on what we were about to say once we found an opening.What makes teams at the office smart isnrsquo;t combi stanley cups ned IQ, itrsquo  social skills, with the ability to listen being paramount:What do you hear about great groups  Not that the members are all really smart but that they listen to each other. They share criticism constructively. They have open minds. Th